When perfect plans fall to pieces
by CO Raven
Summary: Light Yagami had everything planned out perfectly. His plan was foolproof. Nothing could go wrong. Then he watched in horror as it all fell apart. A collection of oneshots. M for occasional violence only.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note… but I'm sure everyone knew that already.

This is basically a collection of Death Note oneshots that foil Light's plans to rule the world. Obviously, Light lovers may not like this if they are closed minded. These oneshots are not connected and are in no particular order. Some will be very in character. Some will be ooc for short moments… kind of like this one. The first one takes place right before Light's incarceration.

--

Light Yagami took a deep breath and stood in front of the door to L's meeting room. L had made an excellent move, shoving him into a corner, leaving him entirely unable to defend himself… by aggressive means, that is. He still had one powerful weapon at his fingertips, knowledge of how the deathnote worked. As powerful a weapon as it was, it wasn't one he wanted to use because when he got the deathnote back, it would reach L's hands and expose the rules. The fake rules would help but fake rules would be infinitely easier to narrow things down with than blindly trying to decipher the rules by reading the killings. It would leave him far more exposed than he really wanted to be. After one more quick scan for holes in his plan, Light stepped through the doors to plead for incarceration. Finally, the Japanese police force would come in handy. The doors in front of him opened and he walked in.

"I've thought about this awhile and I think it's possible that I am Kira and just don't know it," Light began. He relished in the puzzled look on L's face. It vanished in a moment. L was extremely good as hiding his emotions and acting objectively.

"No, Light!" Soichiro Yagami wailed, running towards his son. It was an expected reaction but an important one. It was obvious at this point that the police force had a ridiculous amount of loyalty to the chief so this would put a sense of emotion into the investigation that L wouldn't have whether he liked it or not. Even if he was L, he couldn't simply shrug off the heavy opinions of every other member of the task force while they were working as a small group.

"No, Dad. I'm saying that it's possible that I'm Kira subconsciously. I might be him and not even know it. I do have thoughts sometimes that there are some people the world would be better off without and Ryuzaki seems to be convinced that I'm him. He's never been wrong before, right?" Light finished. He watched as L thought for a moment. Surely it was something along the lines of wondering how this was supposed to help his position. Just not consciously being Kira wouldn't save him in a court case. It wouldn't even come close. It would be either life in prison or execution. If it could be done with a mere thought, it would probably be the latter.

"So… what do you want me to do about it," L asked. As usual, L wasn't going to declare his position yet. It didn't really matter.

"Lock me up until you're satisfied that I'm not Kira!" Light demanded.

"Of course! If the killings keep happening while Light is incarcerated, that will prove him innocent, right, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda asked excitedly. L shook his head.

"That won't work. You may or may not know this, Light, but for a short time, we put cameras and wire taps in your room and house. Killings happened that you had no knowledge of," L finished.

"Then I still want you to lock me up until you're satisfied! I can't stand being under suspicion when I know I'm not Kira! I'll do anything to clear my name!" Light demanded again. L thought about it for a moment. He wasn't exactly being given much choice here. He picked up a pen and walked over to Light with his usual terrible posture.

"What are you doing with that?" Light asked, beginning to feel uneasy. This wasn't something he'd thought up a response to ahead of time. Did he miss something? He couldn't have! He'd checked everything!

"I see no point in incarcerating you for life so we'll use a different approach. I'm going to poke your eyes out. Kira needs a name and a face to kill. If the killings continue, you can't be Kira," L said with a smile. The rest of the task force gaped. Light's eyes bulged and he backed up.

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" Light asked, now very afraid. Was L serious?

"You did say that you'd do anything to clear your name and this certainly beats life in prison," L reasoned as he inched closer.

"Now wait a second here-" Light started. There was a splattering sound, followed by a scream. The Kira Case was closed not too long after.

--


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote but I'm sure you all knew that.

Anyway, sorry for taking ages here but my computer didn't want to be nice to me… and apparently the replacement didn't want to either… or the replacement's replacement…

Back to business, here's the second bit. It takes place after Higuchi is stripped of the deathnote.

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Light Yagami sat in his chair, trying to control the growing smirk on his face. It had all been laid out perfectly. It had taken a bit of work convincing Ryuk to write in the fake rules into the deathnote. His wallet would be hurting once he got stuck buying all the apples to pay him off but then again there was always Misa's sizable amount of cash to pool from if he needed it. L held up the deathnote, reading off the rules.

"… If you make this note unusable by tearing it up or burning it, all humans who have touched the note until then will die… If the person using the note fails to consecutively write names of people to be killed within 13 days, then the user will die," L finished, setting the deathnote down once more. There was a moment of silence broken swiftly by Matsuda.

"Now I really wish I hadn't let my curiosity get the better of me," Matsuda said, trembling a little. For once, it wasn't all too unwarranted. Everyone in the room had touched the deathnote already.

Light pushed back laughter once more. The first fake rule guaranteed the safety of the deathnote and the second cleared his name as well as Misa's, putting him in the clear.

L took a sip of his cup of sugar moistened with coffee, thinking. It really seemed too convenient. That 13 day rule cleared Light's name but he couldn't have been wrong.

"Hey, Light was incarcerated for more than 13 days but he didn't die! That proves he's innocent, doesn't it, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda exclaimed. L wanted to roll his eyes. Matsuda was as slow on the uptake as ever. Then again, to Matsuda, this was probably an epiphany. Anyway, what to do about the situation… Argh! He hated being in situations where people were trying to tie his hands. Pushing a button on his keyboard, he opened up a line to Watari.

"Watari, could you please fetch me a lighter?" L asked. Watari nodded and the screen went black again.

"I didn't know you smoked, Ryuzaki," Light commented, rather confused. Watari enter, bearing a lighter which he handed to L.

"Ah, thank you, Watari. And actually, Light-kun, I don't smoke. I find the action to have little benefit at all and it makes things taste bad. Sweets are so much better," L replied, holding up lighter, then the deathnote. The others in the room looked at him oddly.

"The problem is that there's more than one of these things floating about. For all we know, the real "Kira" that can supposedly control people with these notes could simply keep handing out more and we'd never get closer to catching him. Eventually we'd mess up and die," L continued. Light got up, slamming his fists on the table.

"Ryuzaki, what are you saying?! Are you just going to give up?!" Light thundered. L shook his head.

"No. I'm not going to give up, but I refuse to lose," L said quietly, igniting the lighter.

Everyone in the room got to their feet, protesting. Rem's eyes widened.

"Ryuzaki, what are you doing?" Soichiro Yagami shouted.

"If we can't win, I refuse to lose. The original Kira must have touched the deathnote before. A draw is better than a loss after all."

"Ryuzaki!" Light shouted.

"Kira is childish and hates to lose but you see, I'm also childish and hate to lose," L finished. As Light and everyone else except Rem cried out for him to stop, L burned the deathnote.

--


	3. A very merry Death Note Christmas

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

Hi, again! This particular one takes place at the Christmas post Light taking over L's position.

It was Christmas. There was snow, singing, laughing, presents, and an extra dose of criminals dying of heart attacks. Yes, the Kira Case was still on. Despite the team's best efforts, they felt little closer to actually solving it than they had felt since before Light had insisted that he be incarcerated so long ago.

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tis the season to be jolly…"

There went Matsuda again. Even with people dying left and right, he was managing to stay optimistic at least on the outside. Chances were that he was optimistic on the inside too. The ever upbeat Matsuda might not have even noticed that they had basically stalled out. It just wasn't in his nature to think about those kinds of thoughts. Well, for everyone else, it was about time to let go of the case for a day so they could spend some time with their families. As Matsuda was grown and single, he was probably going to dance around at the HQ still but everyone else was most likely going home for the holidays, even Light. Well, maybe. They weren't quite sure and he hadn't said anything about it himself signifying either way. Ultimately, they were all going to get their dose of Christmas before getting home whether they liked it or not because within minutes, Matsuda was dragging them all over HQ, Christmas caroling to the many, many empty rooms.

"The first Noel the angel did say  
Was to certain poor shepherds  
in fields as they lay;  
In fields as they lay, keeping their sheep,  
On a cold winter's night that was so deep.

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,  
Born is the King of Israel.

They looked up and saw a star  
Shining in the east beyond them far,  
And to the earth it gave great light,  
And so it continued both day and night."

After the hundredth rounds of Jingle Bells and the thousandth Noel among other things, they finally got back to the main room. A surprise to some of the others, Light had actually gotten into it.

"No L. No L. No L. No L!"

"Born is the King IIIIsraaaaael!"

The members of the task force collectively gaped, seeing L sitting there with a stupid grin on his face, singing with a terrible voice. As they rushed over to greet him, Light was having a mental tantrum. Why couldn't things go right? They never went right. Even after they went right, they wouldn't go right!

"Justice will prevail!"

Too angry to think straight, Light tripped over Matsuda and hit the floor hard. Even celebration just couldn't go right. It was then that he got a good look behind L and realized the magnitude of the situation. Poking out from behind L's Santa costume were two little elf hats and under them were two little elves, each with his (or possibly her) own mask.

"Those kids…"

"Ah, yes. Its bring your kid to work day so M and N came with me. I couldn't bring them all but these two were the most interested. X, Y, and Z would have come but they're busy solving some cases in Germany," L explained. Light almost gagged. L, M, N… All the way to Z at least. The thought made him sick.


End file.
